My life really began on March 24, 1968, the day that I first met Swami Rama.  I realize now that the previous forty-six years had been spent in preparation for that day.

I had accompanied my friend Alice Christensen on a trip to India to meet her Guru, who was a man by the name of Swami Rama.   Little did I know when I was making plans for this trip that I was to come face to face with my past, present and future.

This was my first trip out of the United States. In order to make the trip I took a holiday from my husband of twenty-two years; daughters twenty-one, nineteen, and sixteen; and a son of thirteen years!  The trip was made with their blessing. My husband had been stationed in India during his military service in World War II.  He was left with a love for India, and was pleased that I could make this brief  journey to discover India’s charms for myself.

My cultural background had given me no experience for such an undertaking.  My life had begun in a small town in rural Ohio. There I was raised as a Methodist by God-fearing parents.  I married two years after graduating from the local college, and was soon the mother of a burgeoning family.

I was different from any member of my family in that I was born with some definite ideas that were in variance with their beliefs,

one of which was a belief in reincarnation.  As a child I used to bewilder, upset and amuse my parents, sister and brother with my questions and remarks concerning these subjects, and my many questions about God. In my family God was a Sunday subject.  I was required by my parents to attend Sunday school and church every Sunday morning and evening, in addition to Wednesday night prayer meetings.  I was thus provided ample opportunity to be confused by my innate reactions, which were often at variance with what I was being told by the church!  The concept of reincarnation was not entertained, and was strictly beyond the confines of the Methodists.  I found the church’s idea of “hellfire and damnation” to be totally illogical!

My mother was a woman of deep though quiet faith. She used to sing hymns in her melodious voice as she worked, and her face would light with joy as she sang!  In my later years I have come to realize that my mother too questioned the doctrines of the church. Though I was a rebel toward much of the doctrine I had a deep and personal love for Jesus. Mother had encouraged me in that love.

 As I grew older, even though I internally disagreed with much of what I was being told, I grew to feel that I must be wrong!   No one had ever been able to offer answers that satisfied me.  After all didn’t my parents know best?  They had always told me that they did, and there was no one else to tell me differently.  In my family nothing less than strict adherence to parental demand was tolerated.  To have an independent thought, much less to act on it, was considered an act of treason. Appearance and conformity meant everything to my family.

It was in this frame of mind that I carried on my duties as a wife and mother.  I tried to immerse myself in caring for my family.

I loved being a mother, and found it very fulfilling.  Our children were taken to Sunday school and church.  My husband and I joined in church activities as well.  But in spite of my “good life” I always carried a sense of unease and unhappiness.  Even though I loved my family, in my heart I felt alone and empty.

When I was thirty-eight years old my Mother died.  That event served to stop me cold in my tracks emotionally.  As soon as my mother left her physical body the love she had never been able to express in her lifetime was set free!  I was enveloped by a sense of her loving presence.  I was completely happy in her presence for the first time!  My father and siblings seemed totally unaware of her presence, and wailed with grief!  It was then I knew  that what had always been in my heart was true!  We do  live more than one life on this earth; there is a reason to hope, and there are  answers to be found!

From that time onward I began to search for the answers to my many persistent questions.  My first venture took me to the local public library.  At that time they had no books available on reincarnation.  A friend of mine who was the librarian pointed out a book called The Autobiography of a Yogi.  That was my very first introduction to the concept of yoga.

My diligent search continued for eight long years.  Each new experience would lead me a little closer to my goal.  I was operating purely on instinct, and would always know  when it was the proper time to move on from one stage to extend my search.  All of this time I was very vocal with my family about the experiences I was having.  They too, in a sense, took the journey with me.  That is why in 1968 when the opportunity presented itself for me to travel to India, my family was totally supportive of my desire to make the trip!

My first glimpse of Swamiji was through the lens of my camera!

Alice and I had taken a taxi from New Delhi, and had arrived at Ram Kunj totally unannounced.  Alice had not written to take

Swamiji’s permission for our visit.  Neither was phone contact made with Swamiji following our arrival in Delhi, and prior to our arrival at Ram Kunj.  In spite of that, as reached the top of the dyke after our climb up the rocks from our taxi which we had left on the other side of the bund, we saw Swamiji practically running down the path toward us waving and smiling!  Sanjeevani Devi followed in his wake.

I dutifully recorded the event with my Instamatic camera, and then climbed down the rocks to be introduced to Swamiji.  Ranju Kelkar had pinned me into a sari before we had left Delhi.  Alice had taught me how to place my hands together, and say “Namaste”.

I had thought that I was prepared for anything!

It seems strange as I look back on it now.  I had honestly not given much thought to actually meeting Swami Rama.  I was there as

Alice’s  companion, and he was her Guru.  She had told me that she thought Swami Rama was going to die, and that she wanted to be with him when he left his body.  I really didn’t know why  I was there!  I found out years later when I asked Swamiji why I had made that trip. He told me that I had been dragged!

On that auspicious day of March 24^th, 1968 I looked into Swamiji’s eyes, and my world was transformed!  The face of this man was as familiar to me as if I had been face to face with him every day of my life.  I couldn’t speak.  I don’t even remember walking down the path to reach the veranda.  I remember sitting on the veranda along with Alice and Sanjeevani as Swamiji sat in a wicker chair chatting with them.  Swamiji asked me some questions about my family.  I was unable to understand many of his words, and would turn to Alice

for help.  She would tell me the content of the question Swamiji had directed to me. I would then reply.  As he studied my face, Swamiji remarked that I looked like an Indian lady except for the fact that I didn’t have brown eyes.

After sitting on the veranda for a short time, listening to Alice and Swamiji’s animated conversation, I was overcome with such a feeling of lethargy that I could scarcely remain upright in my chair.  Swamiji remarked that I was overcome with exhaustion from the long journey.  He directed Sanjeevani and Alice to drag a cot close to them so that I could lie down and rest.  I remember lying there in a semiconscious state as they smiled at me, and continued on with their conversation!

Swamiji’s easy and friendly manner encouraged me to feel right at home.  Sanjee too was friendly, and ever willing to answer my constant stream of questions.  Since Alice spent a lot of time with Swamiji, Sanjee was given the job of instructing me, as everything was new to me.  Sanjee prepared our food.  I was totally unfamiliar with Indian cooking.  Everything that I tasted was delicious.

Alice and I had brought sleeping bags with us.  Swamiji assigned us to the room adjoining his. I can remember waking in the crisp, cool dawn to the sound of bells and chanting from the temple across the bund from the ashram.  Then Swamiji would be calling for us to get up, that it was time for tea!

That was my first experience of Indian tea.  Never had anything tasted so delicious.  Sanjee, Alice and I sat on stools drawn up to the side of Swamiji’s cot, huddled in our blankets, drinking our steaming tea as Swamiji began our day with joyous conversation.

Even though much of what was said was difficult for me to understand, it did not matter to me in the least.

I was totally happy, without a care in my mind. I was totally enchanted with Swami Rama.  All I knew was that I wanted to stay there, right by his side, forever!

The night we arrived in Ram Kunj we sat before Swamiji for meditation.  Afterward Swamiji asked me if I had had any experiences,  if I had seen any light.  I was happy to be able to report that I had seen the tiniest pinprick of white light.  I hoped that that was good!  Swamiji merely nodded in response to my answer.

During the ensuing days Swamiji told many stories, some of which I captured on my tape recorder!  The Shiva Lingam was at that time located in a small wooden shelter.  I was taught how to offer a bilva leaf, a flower and Ganges water to Lord Shiva.  That was new to me, but I was completely at ease, and happy in doing it.  Swamiji was able to answer many of my questions, and I was learning to understand his manner of speaking.  He was always cheerful, and full of humor, ever vigilant to see that I was happily learning new things.

At one time Swamiji asked me what I was thinking.  I was startled by his question, and was amazed to find that my mind was a blank!  Swamiji nodded in approval.

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I discovered after leaving Ram Kunj that the feeling of loneliness, and emptiness I had had all of my life was no longer a part of me.

I then realized that it had left me the moment I had met Swami Rama.  I waited for, and expected it to return.  It is now thirty -five years since that first meeting, and I have never once felt alone since

that time.  Wherever I am, whatever I do, Swamiji is always with me.  I have lived alone for over twenty years.  My children used to be concerned that I would be lonely.  Now they know better.  They too have come to know Swami Rama as a “friend”.

I was blessed to know Swami Rama for four and a half years when he was in his physical body.  It has taken, is taking me the rest of my life to understand what happened to me in that short span of time.

Swamiji transformed my life.  Now he IS my life!